When it came time to be laid off from work, I fought it w/everything I had w/in me! I feared there was no way I was going to be able to make it financially. And, had it not been for unemployment, I'm not sure I would have been able to make it. But even w/unemployment, my fears were very real that there was no way we could survive.
But, after being laid off, Asher was diagnosed w/his sensory integration dysfunction. He stared OT and speech therapy. And, this month he gets diagnosed w/a mood disorder which may or may not mean more appointments. Either way, being at home w/them has been a really good thing for all of us. The boys love being home, Asher's attitude is improving, and I really feel fulfilled being able to be there for them.
So, my goal really has been to be able to stay home for good. I was told that I would be able to get disability for Asher based on his new diagnosis, and I was told by another friend who's child got disability that would be a rather good size amount. So, I'd been praying that this was God's way of allowing me to stay home w/the boys.
Well, today we met w/Asher's worker, and she told me that the amount I thought I'd be getting for his disability is probably WAY off! She can't believe the amount my friend's friend got. So, as you can imagine, today has been a very discouraging day for me. I honestly at this point, can not imagine going back to work. I literally would see my boys in the morning long enough to take them to preschool or an appointment (Asher has appointments every day they don't have preschool), and then I'd have to take them to daycare only to pick them up in time to put them to bed every night. That is not the life I had envisioned for my family. And, I realize there's a lot in my life that I hadn't envisioned, but from a very young age, I've always been convicted that when having children, my place is to be at home w/them.
So now, I'm back to square one. The conviction that I need to be home w/my boys has only grown w/all of Asher's increasing appointments and seeing how well the boys have adjusted to me being home. But what I thought would be my solution, no longer looks to be the solution. So I'm asking that everyone will join me in my prayer:
God, I am claiming that you are big enough and will provide the needs of my family! And unless the conviction in my heart is changed, I'm claiming that You will provide a way for me to stay home w/my boys. God, I clearly have no idea how You will bring that about, but You haven't failed me yet. I'm placing my full faith and totally relying that You will hear my prayer and provide my needs!
Amen
I realize this is a big step of faith, and I'm praying that everyone will join their prayers w/mine! Or that if I am wrong, and God does want me to go back to work, that He will provide me a peace about it all.
1.06.2010
1.02.2010
New Years Eve in pictures
waiting for the jolly trolley:
here's the trolley
kwings w/Jaden & my bro
ice-skating afterward
watching the ball drop
Happy New Year!!!
here's the trolley
kwings w/Jaden & my bro
ice-skating afterward
watching the ball drop
Happy New Year!!!
12.26.2009
Our Christmas
There were too many pictures so I made a slide show. Asher was up first, and Jaden shortly after. We opened our presents and had breakfast then went to open presents w/the cousins. After that we came back, had quiet time, and then had our turkey dinner. I was quite impressed w/how well it turned out. We had turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and rolls.
As for christmas day, Shaun had the boys so I spent the day w/my friend Crystal. then my sister Charity came over at night and we played the Wii till late into the night.
Everything considered, it was a great holiday!! Merry Christmas and I hope you all enjoyed yours as well!
As for christmas day, Shaun had the boys so I spent the day w/my friend Crystal. then my sister Charity came over at night and we played the Wii till late into the night.
Everything considered, it was a great holiday!! Merry Christmas and I hope you all enjoyed yours as well!
12.24.2009
Christmas eve church program
For the past 3yrs, I've gone to my church on Christmas Eve. They always have a great program, and I'm never disappointed. Not to mention, I just love singing Christmas carols :)
This year for the children's story my pastor read "You Are Special". I didn't recognize the title, but I did recognize the story. It's about these wooden people who hand out gold stars to the "perfect" people, and gray dots to the "not perfect" people. One wooden person always got gray dots bc nothing he ever did was good enough. Then one day he met someone w/no dots and no stars. While others had tried to give her some, they wouldn't stick. He asked her why, and she said it was bc she spent time w/the Carpenter who had made them all. She encouraged him to go see the Carpenter to find out for himself. So, one day he goes to see the Carpenter who tells him that He made him, He cares for him, and the only person who's opinion matter is His. When the wooden man decided to believe that was true, his gray dots started to fall off.
Then he went on to the Christmas story, reading where the angels went to the shepherds first to announce Christ's birth vs going to the "important" people. How the shepherds were the lowest of the low. Most of them were criminals, and being a shepherd was the only job they could get. They were crude people, and not someone most others wanted to be around.
Made me think about how there were a couple churches that pulled out of a food program bc 2 of the churches involved supported the diversity act that was passed recently. When I heard that, it made me think about past sermons where our pastor had pointed out that when Jesus came to earth he went to the "unlovable" and reached them w/his love, not His condemnation. And how a lot of Christians turn off non-Christians bc they're more like the pharisees that God rebuked than the example Jesus Himself set. Here, at the time of Christ's birth, instead of reaching out to the people who probably need the church to reach out to them the most bc of how unworthy "Christians" have dubbed them, people are celebrating that churches took a "stand" to not be involved bc of them.
Am I saying that being transgender or gay is right? No. God clearly states right and wrong. But, God also states that a sin is a sin. W/out HIS grace, all of us would be going to hell no matter how "perfect" we felt we were compared to others. So why did Jesus CONTINUALLY go to the "unworthy" and "unlovable" people, and most Christians refuse to even be around them?? HOW are we going to reach those that need it the most, if we feel we're too good to be near them??
Wasn't expecting to get such an insightful Christmas eve program, but that's what I love about my church!!! Merry Christmas to EVERYONE!!!
This year for the children's story my pastor read "You Are Special". I didn't recognize the title, but I did recognize the story. It's about these wooden people who hand out gold stars to the "perfect" people, and gray dots to the "not perfect" people. One wooden person always got gray dots bc nothing he ever did was good enough. Then one day he met someone w/no dots and no stars. While others had tried to give her some, they wouldn't stick. He asked her why, and she said it was bc she spent time w/the Carpenter who had made them all. She encouraged him to go see the Carpenter to find out for himself. So, one day he goes to see the Carpenter who tells him that He made him, He cares for him, and the only person who's opinion matter is His. When the wooden man decided to believe that was true, his gray dots started to fall off.
Then he went on to the Christmas story, reading where the angels went to the shepherds first to announce Christ's birth vs going to the "important" people. How the shepherds were the lowest of the low. Most of them were criminals, and being a shepherd was the only job they could get. They were crude people, and not someone most others wanted to be around.
Made me think about how there were a couple churches that pulled out of a food program bc 2 of the churches involved supported the diversity act that was passed recently. When I heard that, it made me think about past sermons where our pastor had pointed out that when Jesus came to earth he went to the "unlovable" and reached them w/his love, not His condemnation. And how a lot of Christians turn off non-Christians bc they're more like the pharisees that God rebuked than the example Jesus Himself set. Here, at the time of Christ's birth, instead of reaching out to the people who probably need the church to reach out to them the most bc of how unworthy "Christians" have dubbed them, people are celebrating that churches took a "stand" to not be involved bc of them.
Am I saying that being transgender or gay is right? No. God clearly states right and wrong. But, God also states that a sin is a sin. W/out HIS grace, all of us would be going to hell no matter how "perfect" we felt we were compared to others. So why did Jesus CONTINUALLY go to the "unworthy" and "unlovable" people, and most Christians refuse to even be around them?? HOW are we going to reach those that need it the most, if we feel we're too good to be near them??
Wasn't expecting to get such an insightful Christmas eve program, but that's what I love about my church!!! Merry Christmas to EVERYONE!!!
12.16.2009
appointments
Well, Asher's appointment didn't happen. The psychologist/psychiatrist called in sick. So, he is now rescheduled for the end of January. I'm kinda upset that we have to wait another month, but what can you do?
As for J, he had his eye check up today. After waiting a WHOLE HOUR in the waiting room filled w/a bunch of old people wanting silence (now picture my two boys and see how well that went!), we finally got to see the doctor. She said there's a little more swelling than expected and that his eye isn't staying most enough. So, he has to stay w/the eye ointment and go back in 3mos. She said if his eye is still dry that he may need to be on the ointment for up to a year. I was really hoping that this chapter in our life was over, but again, what cna you do?
As for J, he had his eye check up today. After waiting a WHOLE HOUR in the waiting room filled w/a bunch of old people wanting silence (now picture my two boys and see how well that went!), we finally got to see the doctor. She said there's a little more swelling than expected and that his eye isn't staying most enough. So, he has to stay w/the eye ointment and go back in 3mos. She said if his eye is still dry that he may need to be on the ointment for up to a year. I was really hoping that this chapter in our life was over, but again, what cna you do?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
