9.12.2011

I am from a Masquarde

I am from a prison masquerading as a home
From no freedom and unspeakable abuse.
I am from Robert, my dad and Kathy, my mom
From walls that heard what outsiders weren't allowed.

I am from a family masquerading as Christians
From hypocrisy at it's finest.
I am from church every time the doors were open
From fake smiles to hide the fights on the way in.

I am from hour long lectures and sometimes just as long beatings
From near death at the hands of my father.
I am from "you're worthless, you can't do anything right"
From a loss of childhood.

I am from a grandmother who was the only one to stand up for me
From her early death, the loss of my hero.
I am from the death of my soul
From what could have, should have been the death of me.

I am from all of these things
But I am not dead.
I am alive, strong, and independent.
I am to my children what I never had
I am the end of a cycle, a survivor.


This is my first English assignment. I know it's taboo to speak of such things in public, but I thought it turned out really well. And it is what it is. This is my past, it can't be changed, and I am the person I am today because of it.

2 comments:

Erin said...

This is heartwrenching to read, Holly. But also so hopeful. The Lord is a healing power, is He not?

Holly said...

I actually thank your husband for where I am today, because I was ready to call my life quits. Seriously, I'd give up on church, God, and even tried to end things. He came over for some reason and gave me the book "Tulip"...changed my life. I recommitted my life to Christ, and totally changed my view of what had been skewed my whole life. It all started from God putting him in my life at the right time. I could have a totally different story to tell, but thank God, He was watching out for me!