1.30.2008
trust
Trust is something I'm struggling w/these days. At first, I didn't think I had a problem. But the more time that passes, the more I find myself waiting for the floor to fall out from underneith of me and for what I've known from previous experiences to become true in my present experience. My head tells me that it's not fair to act upon my assumptions of what I feel might be when I haven't been given any reason to believe that it would be. But, how do I train my heart?
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3 comments:
You cannot train your heart because if it did not hurt you were never really "there" anyway. AKA if you do not give everything you were never really in love or able to be loved. Trust should be given until they break it. Then it can be re-earned. God trusts us even though I am sure he has been broken millions of times. People are trained these days to hurt each other because society allows it and make it the norm, but every once in awhile there is someone whom you can give your heart!
I am sure the floor won't fall and if it does, you will stand back up and rebuild.
I agree Holly, you need to trust. Although it doesn't hurt to listen to any alarm bells that are going off. Pray about it and see if your hesitation is a prompting from God or if it is something internal that is not of God. Decerning that is never easy!
I know I NEED to trust. And, for the most part, I do. I would not call them alarm bells. The point is, thoughts are coming into my head for no good reason. They are just there bc I keep waiting for them to be true, even though they are not and there is nothing that says they ever will be. Maybe I didn't say it correctly in my post. There is nothing that has happened to make me doubt. I doubt bc of what happened in the past. I keep expecting things to be what I've always known them to be even though things are quite the opposite of norm for me. Maybe that's why I'm having such issues. I'm experience something that should be normal but has never been normal in my life. I'm rambling and I'm sure I didn't make any more sense in this than I obviously did in my original post :P
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