Hard Time

WOW, to say that a lot of stuff has all been happening in my life all at once would be an understatement. My life is usually an open book, but this time, I'm actually going to keep it to myself. I know that's going to shock a lot of you, but I know some people will actually appreciate it.
I just want to say that I could use some prayers! I'm dealing w/great sadness, I'm in need of wisdom and a lot of strength, and I just feel alone right now. Pray that God will get me through this and soon.

Last Day

Today was my last day of watching Malin, maybe forever. Melanie is hoping to stay home after Mariska is born if she can find a PT job that will work for them. As for me, I haven't decided what I'm going to do. I will be watching a set of twins newly adopted from out of country that don't speak English on Fridays. Originally, I would have had them twice a week, and I would have been set, but the dad was able to get one of the days off. So, right now I'm just in prayer. I'll probably ask around, try to find someone's kid(s) to watch. I'd like to do only 1 or 2 days a week, but I guess I'll take whatever I can find. I'm not ready to go back to work full-time and give up raising my boys. But again, I'll do what I have to.

I think the boys will probably miss having their cousin around. Jaden always asks if we're gonna go get Malin on the fews days that we don't have him. They enjoy having him around to play with.

I am going to enjoy not having to get up and possibly get the chance to sleep in! I'm sure I'll miss having the little guy around, but it will be nice to just be w/my family for a while.

Well, keep us in your prayers as I try to figure out how this all is going to work!

Another Good Sermon

Not that I have yet to sit through a sermon at RLC that I didn't think was good, but he preached another real good one today. I've really been getting convicted about things.
Today's sermon was on how what comes out of the mouth comes from the overflow of the heart. And, I must say, that I need to do some working on my heart. I've become pretty bitter, and I've been dealing w/jealousy. I've picked up swearing again, and I know that God is not proud of what has been coming out recently.
The pastor suggested reading the book of Psalms bc he said that we need to live a life a praise. When we are constantly praising God for what He has and is doing in our lives and make our lives a life of worship, then what comes out of our mouth will reflect it.
So, I'm going to try to start reading the book of Psalms at nights b4 bed, and I'm going to start listening to worship songs on my mp3 player at work and in the car. I had been listening to WAYfm which is a Christian radio station, but I don't really care for it. So, the mp3 player will have to help me out :)
I've started making some other changes in my life, and I know that even though they will be for the best, they haven't been the easiest thing to do. So, just keep me in your prayers as I try to realign my life w/God's will.

18 Months

Asher turned 18mos on Tuesday. He went to the Detroit Zoo w/his dad, brother, Aunt Meghan and Grandma & Grandpa Anderson. Hopefully I'll soon get some pictures from their day, and I'll post them.
He had his ped appointment yesterday. He weighs 25 1/2lbs and is 32ins. His head and weight are in the 45%, and his height is in the 55%. So, he's average.
He's so different from Jaden. By this time, Jaden had stopped eating most things, but Asher puts away food like he hasn't been fed in weeks...LOL.
Oh, and this kid has attitude! I thought Jaden was bad, but Asher is worse! He likes to bite, and when he gets in trouble, he likes to slap people across the face. I've yet to find a punishment that really works for him. He hates time-outs, but I don't know if that's bc he hates sitting or he hates the fact that I hold in place to make him sit!
But still, w/all of his spunk, he's mommy's little boy! Jaden has been a daddy's boy since about 6mos, and I kept waiting for Asher to cross over too, but he hasn't. He's still my little baby. He's a joy to my heart, as is his big brother Jaden. My little boys rock my world!!!

This Weekend

I have taken Friday off from watching Malin. My boys will be w/Shaun, so I decided to take some time for myself. I'm going to this chiropractor that actually massages b4 doing everything else. Then, I'm hoping to get to the beach b4 having to work at M&M. If I don't make it to the beach, I'll probably go fake and bake bc I need some color :) After work, I'm going out w/my friend Rachel. We tried this a while back, but it just didn't happen. We're both determined that it's going to work this time though!! I'm also considering getting at least a pedicure if not a manicure too. It's been a while since I've dedicated time to just me, and this will be a nice change...kinda like a mini-vacation :)

Today I Realized

Today, I realized for the 1st time in a long time, I actually look forward to going to church! For the longest time, I've gone to church bc it's what you do or bc if I'm not there, no one is there to cover nursery. I really allowed myself to get into a rutt of doing the motions in my head, but nothing was happening in my heart. And, I also realized that we're in service for almost 2hrs, but it sure doesn't feel like it! Normally, I'd think 2hrs is WAY to long to be in church, but until I actually did the math, I never would have guessed I'd been there that long. I need to start looking into Bible studies and ministries to get involved w/now that I've decided this is where I want to be.

They do finally have a replacement for me at LLC for nursery director. I'm hoping to meet w/her this week bc the next schedule needs to be put out soon. After 5yrs of being the director, I'm ready to have a break. The only breaks I've gotten during the 5yrs is when I had the boys. I'm tired of being the one responsible when I don't have enough workers, or as often happens, being responsible when my workers forget to show up or go on vacation and don't find replacements for themselves. I would eventually like to get invovled in the nursery at RLC bc that is where I feel my ministry lies, but I'm going to enjoy a break for a bit.

I'm really hoping that this will be the start of new growth in my life bc I've started to realize that my spiritual life is lacking. And that is not any church's fault, and no church is going to fix that. I'm just praying that my new enjoyment of church will help me stay focused on doing the things that I know I need to do!

Pink Eye

Yesterday Jaden woke up w/some eye booggers. This could be a number of things. It could mean a cold, though he didn't have any other symptoms. It could mean an ear infection, but again, nothing pointed to that. It could have been a fluke, but I've come to believe that when there's eye booggers, there's a sickness at hand. Usually, for Jaden, this means he has pink eye. I cleaned his eye, but they kept returning through out the day. So, I called and got him an appt at the peds. My mom had to take him bc I was at work, and sure enough, he has pink eye. The doctor said it's started going into the other eye too. So, he's going to be on even more meds along w/his daily routine. I swear, w/Jaden, it has been one thing after another since birth! First he had jaundice, then he had ear infections which led to tubes, and now he has allergies which causes him to constantly be sick. Yes, pink eye is common in kids w/allergies. I just wish he could be healthy!!
On a plus note for yesterday, both boys' iron is finally good and normal. I think this is the 1st time in probably a year that their iron has been where it should be. I should have gotten mine tested, but didn't think of it. Mines been low since having Jaden.

The Fair

Oops, I totally forgot to post that we took the boys to the fair. It was kinda depressing. It was SO small! Had Jaden not cared that he rode the same ride 5times, I'd say it was a complete waste of money! But, Jaden didn't mind riding the same thing over and over, just mommy minded :P The train was his fav.



This is the first one he went on all by himself...I was a little nervous, but he wasn't phased at all!



I took him on this one, it was in like the shape of a bus, and it went up and around. He was a little scared, but he didn't cry or anything. He just sat a little closer to me until it was done. ASHER, on the other hand, didn't ride any rides...big surprise there..LOL He did however pet a goat which TOTALLY surprised me!



My sister and her boyfriend were there to see the demolition derby. I wanted to go, but knew Asher would be too scared. They did take Jaden in for me though. Bethany said his eyes NEVER went off the cars, not even to get food :)

sick again

Well, Asher started out the week being sick. He had gotten sick for my mom Saturday afternoon, but I didn't think much of it. Then on Sunday he kept acting like something was stuck in his throat. Then, on the way home, he puked in the car. So, I just figured whatever was stuck in his throat had made him finally gag and puke. THEN on Monday, he got sick again twice, and the last time he got a bloody nose. This finally concerned me, so I called the ped. They said the nose bleed was probably a fluke thing, but that it sounded like Asher had a gastro virus that was going around. Basically he'd be really gassy, and we were to keep him away from acidy foods/drinks. Pretty much for him, juice was an automatic puke, and that's what I'd been giving him since I assumed he had an upset stomach so milk was out of the question. Well, he finally got over it, and Wednesday night, as expected, Jaden got it. Well, Jaden has been doing really good, so I assumed it had passed. He was at my mom's house today bc I had to work, and when I went to get there he was AWEFULLY cranky, but I chalked it up to the fact that he didn't get a nap. Well, I took them out for dinner b4 going grocery shopping, and right b4 we were going to leave, he comes over to me and pukes all over himself, the floor and me :0 So, I guess he's not feeling better yet :( Oh, and we didn't go grocery shopping either....food will have to wait.

potty training update

Jaden is doing SO good! He usually does good until we go to Mimi's. He averages 1 accident at her house. He still wets at nights, but usually stays dry during naps. I'm just SO proud of how well he's doing!! We took him to a movie the other night, and afterwards, we forgot to take him potty. Well, we get out to the car, and he says he has to go potty. Mommy was tired and lazy, so I just told him it was too late, TOTALLY expecting him to go potty in his pull-ups. But, believe it or not, he held it all the way to Mimi's house! I was SHOCKED! He still struggles w/going poopy on the potty, but I'm not complaining. I'm doing a happy dance bc he is totally rocking potty training!!!

Nothing Much

My heart is just swelling, and as dumb is it may come off, I'm just going to share it.

Jaden has started this thing that he does w/his eyes, and he just smiles at me....well, he's sneaky, but it works bc it melts me! Oh, and he's started just out of the blue wrapping his arms around my kneck and saying "I love you mommy". Can we all just say "awe!".

And then there's Asher. Just looking at him melts my heart. He did start saying "thank you" this week, actually saying it, not signing, and that made me awefully proud of him!

Boys ROCK and I LOVE my little men!!!!

Faith

Well, after much thought about where to go to church today, I decided to go back to Resurrection Life Church (RLC). I think this might be the church for me...I really enjoy it and did miss it!

Today, the youth pastor preached bc the senior pastor was at a seminar. The youth group had just returned from a missions trip to South Africa. It was neat to hear the teens share their experiences. The kids would go into the village in the mornings, and they'd go from house to house. They would learn about the people's culture, help them w/chores around the house, and just be a witness to them. One lady they told us about was old and suffered from arthritus. She asked them as soon as they showed up if they had meds w/them, but they didn't, so they offered to pray for her. They went back two days later, and she said she had no pain. She said it was the 1st time in 20yrs that she'd slept through the night w/out pain. Isn't that awesome!

Then he went on to preach about faith. Faith being believing b4 seeing. He spoke about how a lot of times we wish God would just show Himself, and we feel like he's hiding from us during our most difficult times. Which by the way, I know that feeling very well, so I was listening intently. He said God does hide, so that WE will seek Him. He used the example of him playing hide and seek w/his 3yr old Ava. He hides, but no where too hard for her to find. He WANTS to be found, just as God wants us to find Him. God wants us to seek after Him! I've really been feeling convicted recently to spend more time in God's word, and after this, I REALLY feel like God is trying to get my attention.

Anyways, it was a really good sermon, and I'm glad I went!