Today I Realized

Today, I realized for the 1st time in a long time, I actually look forward to going to church! For the longest time, I've gone to church bc it's what you do or bc if I'm not there, no one is there to cover nursery. I really allowed myself to get into a rutt of doing the motions in my head, but nothing was happening in my heart. And, I also realized that we're in service for almost 2hrs, but it sure doesn't feel like it! Normally, I'd think 2hrs is WAY to long to be in church, but until I actually did the math, I never would have guessed I'd been there that long. I need to start looking into Bible studies and ministries to get involved w/now that I've decided this is where I want to be.

They do finally have a replacement for me at LLC for nursery director. I'm hoping to meet w/her this week bc the next schedule needs to be put out soon. After 5yrs of being the director, I'm ready to have a break. The only breaks I've gotten during the 5yrs is when I had the boys. I'm tired of being the one responsible when I don't have enough workers, or as often happens, being responsible when my workers forget to show up or go on vacation and don't find replacements for themselves. I would eventually like to get invovled in the nursery at RLC bc that is where I feel my ministry lies, but I'm going to enjoy a break for a bit.

I'm really hoping that this will be the start of new growth in my life bc I've started to realize that my spiritual life is lacking. And that is not any church's fault, and no church is going to fix that. I'm just praying that my new enjoyment of church will help me stay focused on doing the things that I know I need to do!