I am considering looking for another church or "church shopping". I've been going to the same church since '99, and to be honest, I don't feel very much apart of anything. I have my nursery, that I'm the director of. It's definitely where God has led me to minister, but that in and of itself is not enough.
I know people, and a lot of people know me. But, no one really KNOWS me, and I don't really KNOW any of them. Partly this could be my fault. I'm not extremely outgoing. People have offered for me to call and come over whenever, but I never call, just don't feel comforable doing so. It's nothing against anyone, it's just, I don't feel comfortable inviting myself to someone's house. I'd invite people to my house, but it's crowded already w/just my own. I have my 2 Bible studies which I very much enjoy going to, and actually hope to continue going to, but still don't have any deep connections.
Not to mention that my church really doesn't offer anything for me. They don't have progrems to help out struggling families. They really don't have any programs for people my age. There's no one to seek guidance or instruction or support from. My pastor's wife knows what's going on in my life, but I've never heard anything from them. Not that it would matter, bc I know my pastor's stance on everything that is going on in my life right now.
I feel lost, sadly, in a fairly small church. I wasn't for the church's new building. I haven't been happy w/a lot of the decisions my church has been making, but no one wants to go against what everyone else thinks is the thing to do. Let me just state though, that I was 1 of 2 votes. I think. against building the church...I did stand up for my beliefs.
Anyways, it's not an easy decision to make, and it's not one I'll do lightly. But, I do think it's something I need to explore. I will hate leaving my comfort zone. I will hate leaving all my babies, my family, and Lana. If my Bible studies don't let me stay, I will miss them! But, I really do feel this is something I have to do.