Levi's Tattoo

When I moved into Anna's Vineyard, I used rent.com because they give out gift cards for finding an apartment through them. I'm not sure what they get out of it, don't really care. I was just happy to get free money. I knew exacly what I wanted to use the money on. I've had a tattoo picked out in memory of Levi since shortly after losing Levi.
If you have no idea who Levi is, Levi would have been our 3rd child. I wasn't out of my 1st trimester when I lost the baby, but I knew from the day of conception that I was pregnant and was thrilled at the thought of another baby. Shaun and i had picked out the name Levi. I was thinking Levi Ann for a girl and Levi Guy for a boy. Unfortunately, I got pregnant 6mos after Asher, and I was the only one around me who was happy about the baby, and probably the only one who mourned Levi as well. My body just wasn't ready to carry another child.
I already have 2 tattoos. I have the boys' initials on my shoulder

and I have a little boy w/two butterflies (1 for each boy) on my shoulder


the tattoe I wanted for Levi was

what it turned out to be was

I got it around my ankle. It's green bc Levi would have been born in May and it's birthstone would be green. The guy did a really good job! It took me 3 tattoo shops to find someone who could do it. It was a long day, but I'm really happy the first shop turned me around. The 2nd shop told me the truth about it and sent me to a very talented man whom I will return to, just not anytime soon :P

the good and the bad

Ok, I would lie if I were to sit here and tell you all that I'm the perfect mom and that my kids are the perfect 3 & 2 yr old. That being said, through the good and the bad of our day, I'm very proud of myself as a mom and my boys!!
To tell you how the day started, I might as well go to last night. The boys have been w/Nana and Papaw since Wednesday. My parent's went on vacation, so the IL's offered to help out in the daycare area and took the boys up north to the condo. I know the boys have fun, and even though I'm still not thrilled w/my little ones being that far away, I know it's good for all envolved. So, last night I got them back after them being gone practically all week. They were having a rough time so I let them join me in bed. We watched 101 Dalmations which I'd rented for them, and I'm not sure who fell asleep when but I think we were all out rather quickly.
So my day started w/waking up to Jaden having peed in my bed. I was not thrilled to say the least but luckily it was bath time anyways. So, we get baths, we eat breakfast and head off to church. After church, we went and FINALLY found a pair of sandals for Jaden at Gander Mountain. Amazingly, all the stores have turned to winter stuff so it was hard to find a pair in the right size and that I liked. Nana and Papaw's new puppy Chip had chewed up Jaden's sandals a week b4, and I had the HARDEST time replacing them....grrrr.
But after naps, having met my one goal for the day, I decided to take them out to dinner. I didn't feel like making anything nor did I really have anything in the house to cook :P So, we went to Applebees. Risky, I know, but I didn't want fast food. First obsticle was that Jaden wanted pizza, but out of all the kids meals they offered (and they had pretty much every option a kid could want), pizza was not on the list. So, Jaden was frustrated bc for some reason he really wanted pizza, but we were able to work through it rather well. Then, Asher, who I had to wake up from nap b4 risking him not wanting to go to bed tonight, decided that he was going to be his stubborn little self and didn't want to sit in the highchair. So, I gave him 2 options as I always do which were do as I asked or get a spanking. He chose to continue to be stubborn which of course equalled him getting spanked. Afterwards, he still was a little mouthy about it, but when he was told his choices again, he decided to sit. Dinner for the most part went rather well after that. Asher's stubborness came out again when he didn't want to say thank you to the girl for his chocolate milk, but after being given the option to say thank you or lose his drink, he decided to say thank you. Both boys ended up eating part of my food, which I knew they would which is why I got nachos, but they still did a good job eating their food too. They both prety much cleaned their plates and mine..lol. Now, from the time we sat down to when I asked for the check, there was an older lady eating alone and enjoying a book right across from us. She would be of the age that children are seen and not heard. And, while I feel my kids can be well behaved, they are definitely seen and heard. But, to my surprise and pride, she came over and asked to shake each of the boys' hands for being so well behaved, and told me that she was impressed w/my mothering.
Now, as I said in the very beginning, my children aren't perfect and I'd lie if I even pretended they were. But tonight, I was very proud of myself and my little boys!!!

hot water

Ok, so when I first moved in my TH, I went a full week w/out hot water bc my hot water heater was broken. And, I patiently waited a week bc supposedly they had ordered me a brand new water heater. So, I was totally shocked Wednesday night when I went to take a shower and had no hot water!!! So thursday morning, I called and let it be known that I was not happy and wanted it fixed. Well, Thursday night I still had no hot water, so I called the on-call fixer guy but was told there was nothing he could do. He told me he was only allowed to come if I had a fire or flood, and believe you me, I was VERY tempted to give him a flood or fire! So, yesterday they finally came and got it back up and running..YAY. And to my complete frustration, I woke up this morning to no hot water!!!!! So, I called as soon as the office opened, and expressed myself again. The girl told me that she would try to get it fixed, and I let them know that if my hot water wasn't fixed I was going to take the kids to a hotel and deduct the bill from my rent. So, a little later, I got a call that they had to order a part that they won't get till Monday/Tuesday but that they got it up and working. I was like, and tomorrow when it's not working and the kids and I need showers for church...will they come and fix it or will I be getting a hotel tomorrow? She assured me that if I do not have hot water tomorrow that the on-call fixer guy WILL actually come fix it, and he better!!! Call me whatever name in the book you feel, but I will have hot water!!!

Christ-like

What does it really mean to live a Christ-like life?? What does it really mean to be Christ-like? Something I've realized about myself. During the times when I felt most spiritual in my life, I got into a lot of Biblical debates, quoted a lot of scripture, and generally pissed a lot of people off bc they felt I was cramming my beliefs down their throats. But, I used to love to quote scriptures such as the following so that I felt justified.
1 Peter 2:11-12
Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.
or
Matthew 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
I mean, obviously, I must have been doing something right bc I was living apart from the world and they didn't like me. So, I was being Christ-like, right??
One of the many things that I love about my church is how our pastor can preach and convict me on many levels w/out condemning me. I think there is a BIG difference. He's actually touched on that a few times in that convicting is done through love and caring, and condemning is done by judging someone. When people used to tell me I was judging them by quoting scripture at them, I used to say, "if you feel judged it's not by me but my the scriptures...take it up w/God". WOW, was I full of myself or what??
Another thing that my pastor has pointed out recently is that most non-Christians don't want to be around Christians but usually not bc we make them feel a need to change in their lifes. Christ drew and couldn't keep non-believers away from Him bc they saw something in His life, in how He spoke and dealt w/them, they saw and heard something that didn't make them want to shut down and walk away but it made them want to get to know Him even better. Really the only people he ticked off were the pharisees that thought they were better than everyone else. And, I think most Christians would all agree that Christ led a perfect life. So why don't more Christian's striving to live a perfect, Christ-like life draw more people towards them vs pushing them away to wanting nothing to do w/Christ?
Seriously, are the majority of us Christians really living a Christ-like life?

July 12th

Today is Brian's 37th bday! His son has claimed him for the day/night so we celebrated last night. He's still recovering from throat surgery so I knew whatever I made had to be easy to eat. I went back and forth btwn spagetti and salmon. My dad makes this spagetti sauce that I could LIVE on, it's that good. But, out of the many dinners Brian and I have shared, he's only made me spagetti once. So, I wasn't sure how much he really liked it. But, we both like seafood. So, I decided to make this salmon receipe that my mom makes which is SO GOOD along w/fresh grean beans and mushroom w/mashed potatoes and mushroom gravy. Course, I had to do it after working so we didn't eat till like 9:30 at night, but it was delicious! I also got him a Michigan State 3d wirling thing that twirls in the wind. i think all in all I did really good :D