whose idea was it?

So, I wanted to get the family photos done in time for Christmas cards, and b4 J has his eye surgery bc who knows how long it will take his eye to heal from that. So, I decided that today would be the best day for it since we didn't have any appointments till this afternoon for Asher's OT. Well, I should have known not to schedule it bc the boys came back from a wkend w/their father UNCONTROLLABLE! They have been awful! Jaden was evidentally running in Shaun's parking lot and gave himself a scraped up eye, which should have been enough to make me cancel the pictures, but no. I put concealer on J's eye and scheduled the appointment. Did I mention the boys were being awful???

To top it off, the shirts that I bought the boys, I bought too big for BOTH of them. So, we get there early so I can exchange them. It was a big to do bc they didn't have J's color in the size smaller, so I had to change colors on the boys' shirts. So then she wanted to charge me more bc since they were different colors she had to return and resell and the shirts were more now. I was like, I don't think so! We got a manager over who told the lady to just over ride it which is good bc otherwise the boys would have just been in too large of shirts bc I WASN'T paying more simply bc I had to change colors. But we get there and amazingly they get us right in. I'd never seen any of the photographers that were there, but I guess it has been a year since we've had our photos done. People usually do change jobs eventually... So, we get this lady whom I've never seen, and she starts trying to take pictures. The boys aren't listening. Come to find out, they didn't take the security tag off J's shirt (not sure how we got out of the store w/out it going off), so we had to make sure it was hidden in every shot. Luckily it was in the back, but right on the top of the shoulder so it did make some poises impossible. But this woman is just snapping photos like it's a race to see how fast she can get us out of there. And, now that they're digital, you can't see the pictures as they're being taken. But, I could tell they weren't good even though she kept assuring me they were perfect.

So, it's time to look at the pictures. They were AWFUL! If one boy was smiling, the other was looking somewhere else or not smiling. She kept saying, oh that looks great, and I'm thinking, who approved you to be a photographer??? I straight out told her, I don't like them. There weren't any good family photo's to send out to friends and family, and only a couple of the boys that were actually decent. So now, I get another lady to do another shoot. The boys decide they've had enough. While they have PLENTY of energy to play in the waiting room, they have no energy to smile for anymore pictures. It was ridiculous! We did FINALLY get at least 1 pose of the family and the boys, and I said, we're done!

Here are the ones that the lady thought were perfect:





Jaden looked as if he could careless to even be present for the photos and half of the time Asher wasn't even looking in the right direction.

Now here are the ones I went with:
(this first one I didn't get any of, but it is cute)

the Christmas tree

So yes, I realize we haven't even had Thanksgiving yet, but today we went and bought out Christmas tree & set it up. The boys had been begging, and well, we had nothing else planned so why not! It was fun. Asher was being a little bit of a stinker, but did finally pitch in.

it's up

yeah, that was a little too heavy




doesn't he look thrilled!




complete

camping w/the boys

So, at some point in time, Shaun told J he'd take him camping. Now, I'm not sure if Asher was going to be included bc personally, neither Shaun nor I were sure he'd be the least bit interested, but none-the-less, J was planning on it. He was planning on sleeping in a tent w/a sleeping bag, fishing, and of course, making smores.

So obviously, summer has come and gone, and J never did get his camping trip. But this week, he's been talking about it an awful lot. And, I never realized that smores were in his idea of camping until this week, bc as he continually talked about it, smores were described on several occasions.

Any of you who know me, know I WON'T go camping. Yeah that has never been and never will be for me! My idea of camping is a cabin/motel in the middle of no where it MUST have heat/air conditioning and a bathroom. Fishing amazingly I have done and would do, but not by myself. See there has to be someone there to put the worm on the hook and take the fish off of the hook. But, smores I COULD do.

Now, I could have just made some smores over my gas stove, but I knew that wasn't what J was looking for. He had described the camp fire that the marshmallows are cooked over, but not too much bc then they get sticky and get all over him (lol, that's what he said). So, I went to walmart and PRAYED that they still had some grills around. I had to find a worker, but I got lucky. He had just the right size in the right price range, and I said "sold". So I bought all the supplies and home we went.

I really thought that putting together this tiny little grill would be no problem. In fact, I actually thought that it'd be put together since there wasn't much to it. Yeah, I was wrong on that one. I'd say it took probably a half an hour to put that little sucker together, but I got it together AND built my first fire ever.

The boys had a blast!!! They loved to see the fire burn and feel it's warmth. J thanked me several times for "taking him camping". Even asked that next time I make a bigger fire..lol. That's not going to happen bc as it was, I just kept envisioning something catching on fire and burning the house down.... All in all, it was a good memory...."camping w/the boys", PRICELESS!!

things i've learned

While I'm still praying God makes a way w/my finances, I'm LOVING being home w/the boys, especially w/this new diagnosis for Asher. Being home w/him all day, I've learned so much about my child. I always knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom because I felt working FT, I was just having someone else raise my child. And now that I'm home w/them all the time, I feel even stronger w/that theory. I've learned so much about his personality and being able to match it w/this diagnosis, I've been able to learn even more! He really has been having pretty good days since I got laid off. I think part of it is that daycare had too much stimuli. Now that I'm home all the time, there isn't so much going on, and things are pretty consistent for him. He's been doing really good w/his speech lessons. His teachers have even commented that it's getting easier and easier to understand him. He does pretty good w/his OT as well. I can't say as I've noticed that huge of a difference yet, but he does what his therapist Kyle tells him too. Sometimes Kyle has to give him his options more than once, but Asher hasn't once had an outburst w/Kyle. I've been really impressed!

As for Jaden, I've learned that he's a clepto at school. He is CONSTANTLY trying to take home toys from preschool. I have to pat him down before letting him go out. He's also started a lying phase which doesn't please me at all! He lies about the stupidest things and all the time. It's really frustrating for me! I don't know if he thinks Asher is getting too much attention or what. They do say even bad attention is attention. He did have an appointment w/his eye surgeon on Wednesday, and he is scheduled to have his eye surgery on Dec 8th. They said his eye measurements have been pretty consistent these last couple appointments, so they feel confident that they'll get good results the first time around. And they said once it is fixed, that it will stay fixed for the rest of his life. I'm not sure if he'll need glasses as his vision isn't a perfect 20/20. We'll go back to his eye doc in GR probably a month or so after his surgery to see where we stand on that.

I feel like all we do is go from appointment to appointment. I definitely haven't been able to sleep in on my time off. Not that they boys would let me sleep in even if we didn't have somewhere to be. They're usually up between 7-8am depending on when the sun comes up. I told one of the girls last weekend when we were at the casino for our work trip that I wanted to steal the curtains from the casino in our room bc unless they were open you had no idea if it was day or night outside. They were just starting to sleep in till 9am when the time change happened, and now I can't get them back to sleeping in. All in all, I think being laid off this season is probably for the best for all of us. I'm going to try to enjoy and make the most of all the time I get w/them!

Sensory Integration Dysfunction

So, all of Asher's life, he's been a difficult child. Deep down, I've always known he was a good boy, but for the most time, I called him my little monster or devil child. He is moody and unpredictable. He's hard to take out in public because you never know which Asher you're going to get or if he's going to switch on you.

I'm sure most people, as myself often did, thought that he just needed more discipline. And, I have tried EVERYTHING w/him. I don't let him get away w/stuff. He gets spanked. I've tried time-outs, reward charts, bribes, taking away things he holds dear, and everything else you can think of. Nothing seemed to work w/this child which frustrated everyone.

Then Asher started preschool, and his issues just seemed to be highlighted. So, I got him tested for OT & speech through the schools because I felt part of his frustration was not being understood, and I just thought OT would help him work through is anger issues. Deep down, I really felt he had some time of mood disorder, possibly even bipolar. And who wants to think that about their 3yr old? But I did. So, the schools said he needed speech, and he's gone 3 times and already seeing improvements!

Since the schools didn't want to do OT w/him, I found a program called early intervention to get him into. In doing so, they referred him for OT through our insurance. I knew I didn't want to send him straight to the psychiatrist bc I'd like to be able to stay away from meds if possible. If I remember correctly, he is scheduled to be tested by a psychiatrist in a month or so, but we went to OT first.

So today we saw Asher's OT for the first time, and Asher was diagnosed w/Sensory Integration Disorder. Since I can't describe it myself due to the fact that I still am confused by what it actually is, I'm copying part of what http://www.sensorynation.com/what.html has to say about it:

Sensory Integration Dysfunction is the neurological inability to integrate properly the seven (yes, there are seven!) senses. These include sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch, proprioception and balance/coordination (vestibular sense).
According to the American Occupational Therapy Association, "Normal sensory integration is central to learning to express words and thought, which in turn affects how a child learns social skills. These cognitive and communication activities involve a complex range of subtle behaviors such as listening and reacting, interpreting body language and non-verbal cues, and responding to and anticipating the emotions of others. Sensory integration processing also affects children’s ability to mentally and physically organize themselves for making orderly transitions from one activity to another."
When a child, for a variety of reasons, cannot properly integrate her senses, she (or he) lives in a world that is either powerfully overstimulating or provides only weak and diluted input. Sensory Integration Dysfunction can result in both hyper- and hypo-sensitive responses, depending on the child and even the specific symptom.
Sensory Seeking children have nervous systems that do not always process that sensory input is "coming in" to the brain. They are under-responsive to sensation. As a result, they seek out more intense or longer duration sensory experiences. Some behaviors that can be observed are: Hyper-activity as they seek more and more movement input; Unawareness of touch or pain, or touching others too often or too hard (may seem aggressive); Engaging in unsafe behaviors, such as climbing too high; Enjoying sounds that are too loud, such as TV or radio volume.

I'm not exactly sure what this means for us in the future, but I'm relieved to have an explanation. And from everything I've read, it fits Asher. Even what his speech therapist has said agrees w/this diagnosis. I only wish I'd figured this out sooner. Hopefully in the next few weeks, not only will I understand what this disorder really means for Asher (I've bought 3 books to read up on), but also hopefully we'll have a game plan as to how to attack this so that Asher can hopefully have a smoother, happier life!